


I Can't Keep Wanting You

by ThisColdSunset



Series: Starker Week 2018 [1]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Fluff, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-10
Updated: 2018-07-10
Packaged: 2019-06-08 00:35:41
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,968
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15231507
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ThisColdSunset/pseuds/ThisColdSunset
Summary: 5 times Peter was jealous and 1 time he didn't have to be.





	I Can't Keep Wanting You

**Author's Note:**

> I haven't posted anything in quite a few years, so sorry if my writing is a bit rusty! Any concrit is welcome, and leave a comment or send me a message/ask over tumblr at either of my pages with prompts if you like!  
> https://ohlookitsfanfic.tumblr.com/ (main fanfic blog)  
> https://starkerhell.tumblr.com/ (starker sideblog)

1

Peter had been suspecting for quite some time that he was entirely straight, ever since he realised that sometimes he stared at other guys in his grade with the same fixation that he did when he looked at girls. Which, no big deal, some dudes like dudes, and he sure that May wouldn’t freak out if he started dating a guy, what with all her not-so-subtle questions that she liked to drop on him when they made dinner together.

But Peter hadn’t really had a chance to explore his feelings until a while later ( _hello? Saving the world here!_ ) so he’d managed to postpone his pending freak out.

The freak out caught up with him, as most things did, at an inopportune moment in his life when things felt like they had finally settled down. He was standing in the middle of the magazine aisle of a convenience store after school trying to decide if he needed a Slurpee or not when an issue of the Cosmopolitan caught his eye, Mr Stark grinning at him from the top right corner. Without even thinking, Peter picked it up and flipped through the magazine until he found the article his mentor was featured in: This Year’s Top 30 Eligible Bachelors, as it were.

Skimming over the page, an uncomfortable, twisting feeling began to grow in his stomach, and suddenly Peter was no longer in the mood to buy anything.

It’s not like Peter didn’t know that Mr Stark was single, and he certainly wasn’t naïve enough to think that people didn’t go after guys with money like Mr Stark, but Mr Stark’s section, where he was ranked as number 7, was dedicated to nothing but his net worth, his business, and his popularity as Iron Man. Nothing about what kind of person he was, nothing about his numerous PhD’s or the foundations he’d started or the sacrifices he’d made.

Nothing about Mr Stark being anything more than a guy who had a lot of money.

Mr Stark didn’t really do the dating thing anymore, not since ending his engagement with Pepper. He never said as much, but Peter could tell just by looking at him and seeing the crushed look in his eyes that they were done for good this time.

And besides, Mr Stark wouldn’t date someone who’s just in it for the money. Well, date them, no, but sleep with them? Peter wasn’t so sure, and didn’t _that_ just make his gut twist more?

Peter shook his head. _There’s no need to get jealous over a dumb article._

That stopped Peter short. _Am I… Jealous?_

Oh god.

 

2

Pepper had finally managed to convince Mr Stark to do an interview to promote the newest developments for SI after weeks of avoidance. Peter had been witness to multiple attempts to evade her by pretending to have a _very important Avengers meeting_ , and once where he tried to hide beneath one of the tables in the lab (which failed, and led to Mr Stark’s agreement to do the interview).

Watching the interview intently with Ned the day of its release ( _“Can’t we watch something with eye candy for me, too? I get that you’ve got your thing for-” “Shut up! I told you in_ confidence _! Besides, it’s not because of_ that _¸ you know I’ve got a real internship with him after graduation, and apparently this announcement is the beginning of something awesome!”)_

Trying to make himself comfortable on the bed beside Ned, he arranged himself on his stomach so he could be closer to his laptop, accidentally knocking Ned with his elbow, to which he got a playful shove that almost sent him to the floor. Narrowing his eyes at the other guy, Peter pressed the space bar and started the video.

“Welcome, Mr Stark. Thank you for being here with us today.” The blonde interviewer began, her name floating beneath her. _Diane Smith_.

“The pleasure is all mine.” Mr Stark said, smiling amicably.

“This is the beginning of a new journey for Stark Industries. Your people have been dropping hints that what you’re working on will take the company in a completely new direction.”

Mr Stark nodded and clasped his hands together. “Well, this is something very different to what SI normally produces, but it’s not the end of the road for our tech developments. We’re not going to give up on producing the most advanced products compared to the rest of the market any time soon.”

Smith smiled and batted her lashes at Mr Stark before saying, “Please, end the suspense for us all Mr Stark.”

“Stark Industries has begun development on a line of prosthetics with an aim to make more versatile and mobile limbs than anything else currently available. We’ll also be putting an emphasis on making them accessible to the general public.”

It really was big news, and not something that Peter ever would have guessed on his own, but now he thought about it, prosthetics made sense. After Colonel Rhodes’ accident, Tony had become consumed with a need to assist his friend, probably because he felt like he needed to take the blame for what had happened.

Then, when Steve returned with the rest of the Rogues, Tony had worked directly with Shuri to help Sergeant Barnes in the best way possible, and in the end the two of them had replaced Hydra’s painful monstrosity with a completely new limb. It looked quite similar to the unobservant eye, but Barnes was able to move his arm with a lot more ease and no pain, was much easier to service but almost impossible to take apart or destroy, and probably had weird modifications courtesy of Mr Stark.

If Smith would _just stop looking at Mr Stark like that_ ¸ Peter would actually be able to concentrate on what they were discussing. As it was, she had no such intentions, and continued to flirt with the genius as he talked about his hopes for what he could achieve with the prosthetics he had in development.

He tried his hardest to convince himself that it was just the woman’s job, and she probably wasn’t even interested in Mr Stark outside of work, but the ugly feeling wouldn’t leave him alone. Ned definitely noticed. He was his Guy in the Chair, of course he noticed.

Peter would just have to pray to god (maybe Thor? He seemed the kind who would grant wishes if he could) that Mr Stark himself didn’t notice.

 

3

She was gorgeous, with long brown curls that she piled on top of her head and a warm, friendly smile no matter what day of the week. Her name was Olivia, she was incredibly smart and talented, and she was SI’s newest intern. And she was _stunning_. And if Peter had noticed, it sure as hell hadn’t escaped Tony’s attention.

Peter had been working for SI for a couple of years now, SI keeping him on as an employee despite his constant absences for university during the semester and his further unexplained absences when he was off being Spiderman. Nowadays, Peter wasn’t so much an intern as he was a consultant. Or something.

Honestly, Peter didn’t care about his title so long as he got to work together on projects with Tony (guess his hero worship wasn’t going anywhere anytime soon), and sometimes, if early morning hours crept up on them, Tony would drive them both back to the compound and they’d pick up crappy take out and make fun of each other’s music taste on the way back.

“Dr Stark, I’ll be heading home now if that’s okay.” Olivia already had her handbag slung across her, knowing that Tony wasn’t the kind to force people to stay.

Tony looked up for the first time in hours from the organised chaos of equations and formulae scribbled across multiple papers and notepads. He waved her away, probably still too lost in his work to be able to say goodbye, before leaning back in his chair and rubbing at his eyes.

Ever since announcing that SI was beginning new studies into prosthetic development, Tony had been focusing on finding solutions to every possible problem his current prototypes had or could have in the future before releasing them to the market, because there was _no way_ he’d be releasing anything less than perfect.

Watching Olivia make her way out, Peter didn’t even notice that Tony was looking at him closely.

“Are you going to ask her out?”

“What?” Startled, Peter blinked out of his stupor and turned to look at Tony.

“Olivia. Planning on asking her out or what?”

Peter almost choked. “Wha-Oh! No! No. That’s not- no.”

“No? Why not?” Tony asked absentmindedly, frowning as he scribbled something down on Peter’s notes before looking up. “Don’t sell yourself short, kid. You’re smart, she’s smart, you’ve got plenty of stuff to talk about with each other. Go for it.”

Peter shrugged, not even sure if he should bother responding. “She’s not really my type,” he said slowly, before adding, “I thought for sure she was more your type.”

Tony looked at him with wide eyes. “She’s a kid!”

“She’s older than me.” Peter responded, rolling his eyes.

“And you’re, what? A foetus?”

Laughing despite himself, Peter shook his head at the engineer. “I’m an adult, someday you’re going to have to come to terms with that.”

He didn’t let himself imagine that he saw a flash of anything on Tony’s face, because he was a logical guy who didn’t let his crushes cloud his logic.

 

4

The team (because they were just one now, after Thanos it was hard to remain rivals) had all met up to order in food and drink while they watched movies or played cards or did whatever. Bruce and Tony weren’t drinking, but Tony had tried to stop Peter ( _“You’re like, 12!” “I’m 22!” Peter had said, indignant_ ).

Now Tony was slow dancing with Clint, who had had more than enough to drink for the two of them.

“You’re actually not crap at this.” Tony remarked.

“I had to learn for an op.” Clint muttered into Tony’s shoulder.

Tony threw his head back to laugh loudly, “Of course you did.”

Envy wasn’t a good look on anyone, May had told him enough times for it to stick, but just because he understood that didn’t mean that Peter was suddenly immune to the feeling. He tried to keep his eyes to himself, tried to focus on the movie no one was paying attention to anymore, but every time he glanced over he managed to make eye contact with Tony, who _winked_ at him every time it happened.

If only Clint would keep his hands to himself for a minute, Peter might be able to breathe. As it were, the archer kept squeezing Tony’s arse as they slow danced to soft jazz, and in retaliation Tony kept stepping on Clint’s feet.

The rest of the team weren’t really paying the duo any mind, preoccupied instead with watching a rather intense game of Uno between Nat, Sam, and Bucky. Peter wasn’t even sure he wanted to know what the stakes were, seeing as the taunts they were all throwing at each other were bad enough.

Looking over towards the dancing pair once again, he found that Clint had sluggishly pulled away from Tony, and was now trying to make his way over towards Peter without falling.

“C’mon, Spiderkid, up you get.” Clint’s hands suddenly had a very hard grip on Peter’s shoulders, stronger than it should have been for a man in his state of inebriation in the very least.

Allowing himself to be pulled up off the couch, the archer led him back towards his impromptu stage before pushing him towards Tony.

“Dance with us?” Clint asked, as if he hadn’t already made the decision for him already.

Peter tried to decline in any case, but the archer was having none of it, and arranged Peter in Tony’s arms before draping himself along Peter’s back. An Avenger sandwich, Peter mused for a moment before becoming incredibly aware of the complete lack of space between himself and Tony’s chest.

Now he couldn’t breathe for a completely different reason.

Trying to focus on anything but how amazing Tony’s chest felt, Peter let Clint lead the three of them in probably the weirdest dance he’d ever participated in.

_I can make it through this._

 

5

Blue gown hugging her body and catching the light just right, Pepper’s red hair was the only thing Peter could see of her face as Tony spun her round on the dance floor, both laughing as they introduced more and more ridiculous moves to their dance.

They were a mesmerising power couple. There was a reason why the media loved them, despite their official separation having occurred a while ago now, with both of them conquering the world in their respective fields. There was no way Peter could ever measure up to that.

So, instead of wallowing in despair as he normally would, he joined Thor at the bar and tried to keep up with the Asgardian as much as he could (which he really didn’t recommend under any circumstances). Once he felt as though his liver was going to give out on him and Steve was going to be disappointed in him, he tried to locate the pair once again.

Surely now he could cope with the sight of their perfection.

When he spotted them, they were talking to each other on the other end of the bar, leaning in close as they spoke, the ease and familiarity between them obvious to anyone who sent a glance their way.

Peter could not cope.

He had to look away. If he stared at them for even one more second, Peter might be able to feel the moment his heart got crushed beyond repair. Trying to make a subtle yet hasty retreat, he turned away and tried to find the nearest exit so he could just go home and curl up under the covers of his bed and pretend everything was okay.

Maybe he bumped into a few people on his way out, and maybe he definitely wasn’t as subtle as he would’ve liked, but he didn’t fall over in front of everyone, and he didn’t bump into Steve.

Outside, the crisp fresh air that filled his lungs cleared some of the fog away from his head, and he spent a moment with eyes closed, just breathing the cold air through his nose and ignoring everything else.

“Pete? Kid, are you okay?” Someone said behind him.

“I’m not a kid!” Peter snapped before he realised who was speaking to him.

Tony raised an eyebrow at him. “You sure handle your drinks like one. Don’t think I didn’t notice you at the bar with Thor.”

Glowering, Peter didn’t respond.

“I’ll have Happy take you home, make sure you get to bed safe.”

“I’m fine, I can call a cab.”

“It’s no trouble, I’m pretty sure Happy would just love the chance to tuck you in one last time.” Tony insisted, cracking a smile at him.

“Oh my god, _stop_.” Peter turned towards Tony, trying his best to create a seething frown just for the genius, but he couldn’t quite keep the fondness off his face, and Tony could tell for sure.

 _Honestly, Tony can call me kid as much as he likes if that’s what makes him happy. Although,_ baby _would be pref-_

Holy _crap_ , his mind went straight to the gutter _fast_ when he’d been drinking.

Despite trying his best to derail his inappropriate train of thought, his brain must’ve been acting on some kind of primal instinct.

Before he could stop himself, before he could convince himself otherwise, Peter leant in and pressed his lips to Tony’s. He held himself there, lingering so he could memorise how it felt to kiss the love of his life before he fucked everything up, and then pulled away without making eye contact.

“I’m going home now.”

 

+1

 

Catching his own gaze in the darkened windows of the town hall, Peter had to fight the urge to wink at himself in the way he used to with the bathroom mirror when he was a teenager. He wasn’t the type to constantly check himself out or anything, but he could acknowledge when he looked good, and _boy_ did he look _fine_. The whole team looked amazing tonight, everyone dressed to the nines and smiling for the cameras.

Searching through the crowd, Peter almost missed Tony trying to make his way past a group of attendees attempting to congratulate him for SI’s latest success. Reporters and sponsors couldn’t seem to leave him alone, and more than a few people appeared to have ulterior motives as they laid it on thick for the genius with wide smiles and lingering touches.

“Surviving?” he asked with a wry smile when Tony finally managed to join him.

“Just.” Tony smiled back, holding his hand out for Peter to take as the orchestra began their next song.

Together they made their way out towards the other dancing attendees, and once they found a space for themselves Tony began to lead them in a simple waltz. Peter let the music wash over him as Tony made sure they kept in time, and instead Peter focused on the way it felt to be held by Tony and the way it felt to have Tony’s eyes focused on him, and only him, as if they were the only two in the entire hall. As if they were the only two in the universe.

There wasn’t a single reason to be envious of anyone anymore, because how could he be jealous if Tony looked at him like that?

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading! If you enjoyed yourself hit me up with a comment or kudos 💗


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